i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
