she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
