Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
