Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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