just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
