dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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