Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
