wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
