is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
