So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
