I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
