Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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