p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
