Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
