we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
