How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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