I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
