if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
