Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
