K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
