Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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