I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm always down for nudity.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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