I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize