Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
