i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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