Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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