i just google imaged poop.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
