You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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