nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
