It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
