I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm too high and old for this...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize