that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
