yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She's the barista slut.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
