Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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