I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
