remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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