Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
