just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
