think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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