Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
