HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
