C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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