so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
