The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
