were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
