Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
