I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
