I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize