you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
