You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
