I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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