I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
