Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
