You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
