Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
