Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
