He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize