are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
