Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize