talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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