So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
