i just wanna soil my oats bro
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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