I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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