I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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