what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
