Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
