she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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