She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
