Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
