Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
