I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
