Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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