If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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