do herpes really smell.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
