I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
