I want to walk on stilts...naked
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
