Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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